Mom is doing as well as to be expected right now. She spends most of the evenings when we get home from work laying on the couch to ease her headaches. It seems as though her headaches are becoming more frequent, and I would imagine it would be from any growth that may be occurring in her tumor.
We made a visit to the University of Tennessee a couple of weeks ago, and had an appointment for the University of Georgia, but ended up cancelling it after talking with and deciding to visit John Hopkins in Baltimore. The idea of having a team that is dedicated solely to neurological surgeries and a doctor that genuinely seems to care about his patients, was the major deciding factors. It’s not that we didn’t like UT, it’s just that it’s a one chance surgery, and we can’t risk any damage or losing mom because the place happened to be closer and more convenient.
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Season 6 premiers tonight, and I’ll without a doubt be watching it. I’m sad to see the series wrapping up, but can’t wait to see how they pull it all together for the finale. I’d eventually like to buy the entire series and watch it again without any hiatuses between seasons.
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We got just enough snow today to have work canceled around lunch time because the roads were becoming so slick and icy. I told the ladies at work as we left for lunch, jokingly, that we were going to go out and make a snowman. Since work ended up being canceled, and we did end up getting a dusting of snow, I followed through and made that snowman 
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I’m not exactly sure when or why, although I have my suspicions of links in emails being clicked, but my computer has been hit with malware once again. It’s been turning off my Windows Live OneCare and giving me occasional popups in FireFox. I really wish I was skilled enough to scan through the report logs and clean it myself, but right now I’ve got a HijackThis log posted on CyberTechHelp, and have already done their first followup post of cleaning various things, temporary internet files, delete index.dat files, history, temporary files, memory dumps, etc., and have ran ComboFix and posted the log files back to them for a fresher look. I’ve got about a half hour in on it so far, so I figure another half hour and it should be cleaned up. Not a ton of time involved really, but it’s just annoying.
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My cat must find a sense of security and safety by hiding out in baskets or boxes around the house. This is a picture of her that I found on my camera that I took a couple of months ago. She will usually find a box and make it her hangout for a while, so if we get to looking for her, as long as the box hasn’t been moved or thrown away, it’s almost a give-me that she will be in there asleep.
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I’ve enjoyed watching Conan O’Brien bash NBC with their much deserved bashing over the past week or so, and especially after enjoying those moments I hate to see him get screwed out of his show. It’s going to be interesting to see who he signs on with next and where he goes from here. But it’s nice to see that he ended his show with class, and left an nice farewell message for his viewers.
All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particular of young people that watch. Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality. It doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you, amazing things will happen.
—Conan O’Brien
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Yesterday, Chase and I met up w/ one of our old friends, Jim, for lunch and a couple of games of bowling. It’s been years since we’ve actually bowled, and was a ton of fun. I’m actually sore from playing. It was so nice to hang out like old times, catch up a bit, and try to clear our minds of all the happenings lately.
I bowled with a 14lb ball that was probably a pound or two heavier than I would have liked, but it had what I found to be the most comfortable finger holes. I couldn’t even break 100 though, but I’m going to blame that on lack of practice. This is our first game, and our second was about the same but with the scores flipped vertically between us. I have no idea how he did it, but I think this is Chase’s highest score ever.
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Like every single human being I experience all feelings and emotions, but I don’t often show nor talk about them, even to those I am most close to. I choose to keep them to myself rarely letting them escape. I don’t think I will always be like that, it’s just the phase that I’ve been in for a while now. That’s why my blog is nice for me. It allows me to let the feelings out a bit rather than keeping them held inside. But today was a bit different. I think if you were to see my eyes in person today, you could see that I was completely crushed on the inside.
I’ve done what I always do, and expected a situation to be what is probably on the worse end of the scale of outcomes, and unfortunately it was right. Yet expecting the worse didn’t help ease the pain and feelings that surrounded the situation. It was only confirmation for what I had hoped to be prepared for, but wasn’t. And I don’t honestly think you can be prepared for all of the thoughts, the questions, the scenarios, and the possibilities that rush through your mind upon learning something that is devastating.
It all goes back to when we talked my parents into going to the eye doctor for a checkup and to get some real glasses. The doctor did the checkup and said her eyes were healthy, but for some reason she had a loss of peripheral vision on her right side, and recommended that she see a neurologist. Then my mom had her wreck last year, and since then has had on-again off-again headaches. We’ve all noticed, especially in the past few months, that she has been getting easily confused, repeating things when she talks to us, lost quite a bit of weight, and has had no appetite at all. Then she started mixing Chase and I up—something that moms never do, even with twins. With all of this we knew that something was seriously wrong and we had to get her checked out.
Today she went in for a MRI and had it performed with and without contrast. The images show what the doctor is calling a meningioma. Billy called and told me about it and then the four of us had lunch to discuss what the proper route to take would be. I was expecting something small, and I really want to believe that it will be something simple to remove, but the scan is showing a growth that is around 60mm. I can’t help but believe this is very serious. Tomorrow we are supposed to get the report and hopefully know more detail about it as well as know what direction to start looking.
I’m trying my best to keep it together, especially around any of the others, but when thinking about it, or listening to my family try to figure out a game plan, I do tear up. Alicia said on the way home both my mom and dad was crying. I’ve never in my life seen my dad cry, so I know this is really going to be something tough for the both of them. Heck, tough for all of us. Both of my parents are very strong people, and have probably always done as I have done and just kept their fears to themselves up until now. Even the very thought of my dad crying over my mom being sick just kills me. But tears are not a sign of weakness, instead they are a sign of being human, a sign of love symbolizing words that the heart cannot express.
If I were to say that I didn’t tear up any writing any of this, I’d be a liar. Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. This is going to be a very trying time for all of us.
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I’m always excited to see that Survivor has been signed on for another season, but for a few reasons the upcoming season just disappoints me.
- It’s a recycled cast. Sure I really enjoy looking at Danielle and Parvati, but it’s not like an all new cast wouldn’t have provided some eye candy for the show either. We already know how these players have played in the past, so it’ll be interesting to see what new they offer to bring to the show.
- Winners are playing again. The odds in being fortunate enough to be picked to play for a shot at a million dollars are extremely thin already, so giving people that have already one a million bucks a shot at making that two, makes no sense to me and is somewhat unfair to the countless fans that make an entry to maybe be picked each season.
- Being on three seasons. Basically the same reason as above applies here too. If two opportunities together is considered a chance of a lifetime, what is 3?
- Coach and Tyson. These are two people who are so full of themselves that it makes me sick to watch them. I’ll watch the entire season regardless of the disappointments, but I hope these two are the first to be voted out.
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