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Lost?

I am, and even moreso after this weekend.  I’ve been feeling this way for a while now, months and months actually, and don’t know why really.  Maybe it’s the rut that I’m in thats the cause of it, or just seeing my friends make life changing decisions that decide the direction of their lives.  That includes weddings, home purchases, and even kids.

Today was one of my buddies’ wedding, which for him answers the question of who he’ll spend his life w/.  Already has a house of his own, knows pretty much exactly what he wants to do for a job for the rest of his life, and ultimately seems happy w/ where he’s at.  And he’s not the only one. 

And then theres me.  I seem to be in this cycle of work, home, and sleep.  Over and over.  Can’t wait til the weekend comes, but once it’s here, it’s like why did I want it to come so fast.  It just seems like such a rut that is hard to get out of.  It’s practically been this same thing since graduating high school.

I’ve ran across the question, ‘where do you see yourself in 5 years?’ multiple times in the past year.  And the truth is, I have no freaking clue.  If I was asked this back in say 9th or 10th grade, I would have had somewhat of an idea to give a general answer of where I’d be.  But here, ~5 years later, seem to be no where different than where I was and have no idea what’s next.